Let’s get down to business… some families require a delicate approach when disclosing you have chosen a small wedding. How you first share the news can be critical for setting the tone of the whole conversation. You probably have a pretty good idea how your friends and family will take the news but don’t always assume the worst. Stay positive and think about some the following things when presenting your wonderful news…
Do not approach the conversation on the defensive. If you are anticipating a negative reaction you are going to sound like you are trying to sell a bad idea. Your wedding day is not an infomercial for questionable cleaning products (I’m looking at you ShamWow). Approach it like you are sharing the exciting news that it is and friends and family should also be excited about. Focus on the positive. Describe how you and your partner have decided to have a small wedding that will incorporate only the elements important to you as a couple.
Try to understand the root of what your family is upset about. Is it really about your dad wanting to show off to his boss by inviting him to a big wedding, or is it because he is feeling left out of the biggest day of your life. If everyone can take a minute to get past initial emotional reactions, you can get to the origin of the issue, and then address it. If your parents feel neglected, find ways to involve them. Let your mom go dress shopping with you and ask your dad’s opinion on flight deals. Even if you don’t go along with all their suggestions, they will feel like at least you cared enough to ask.
Give them a heads-up. MOST, close friends and family will appreciate knowing about your plans prior to the day. Some may interpret the surprise as you hiding something you think is wrong. What you are doing is not wrong! Celebrate it and announce it! Your friends and family might not be there for the actual moment, but the fact that you shared the information with them may be enough to keep everyone happy. Or don’t tell anyone, these are only suggestions people!
Do not down-play your elopement. Getting married is a huge deal no matter how many people are in attendance. You are doing this wonderful exciting thing the way that works best for you. Trying to not make a big deal about your wedding to decrease the amount of hurt feelings doesn’t work. Plus, you deserve to be proud of your decision and make it public. You may be surprised with the amount of love and positive reactions you receive.