Something that remained in the back of my mind as we made the decision to elope was, am I going to regret anything? The romantic and adventurous appeal of running away to get married is extremely exciting, but you have to be realistic, there are certain things that you may have to be willing to give up. You have to take the time to examine what is important to you. I knew I wanted to spend our funds toward prancing around Europe for several weeks, which meant we would not have certain “wedding” things on our day. My father was not going to walk me down the aisle, none of our friends would cheer us on during our first dance, and we were going to risk hurting some people’s feelings. If these moments feel like things you have to “give up” then you really need to evaluate what is important to you on this day. Of course there are compromises but you should NEVER feel like you are losing something, especially on this day. Do not leave any room for regret.
For some perspective, I’ll mention some stuff that I gave up and my feelings about it. Now remember, this is our experience and opinion. I cannot and do not want to tell anyone what to do.
Bachelor/Bachelorette party: We skipped this for a few reasons. Number one being I fully support girl’s/guy’s night/weekend at any point. There was no need to plan a particular excessive night because I fully engage on wino Friday on the regular. We had been quiet with the amount of people we told about the elopement so it would have opened an awkward door of who to celebrate with and who to leave out. My new husband also adamantly states that he believes strip clubs are gross and he feels bad for the dancers because they probably have low self-esteem and he would never waste his money on such things. Bless his heart I almost believe him.
Dress shopping: Nope. No thanks. Never. I have been to my fair share of dress shopping extravaganzas. It’s not for me. I do not like to be put on the spot, frankly I hate it. But I also cannot go car shopping (I’ll instantly crumble to high pressure sales and sign the first contract put in front of me) and the thought of going into Victoria’s Secret gives me palpitations (why are there so many different kinds of underwear? Why are there so many colors and fabrics? And I have to pick 5 for $25?!). Now I understand this might be an experience some ladies dream of so go for it if you want! It may be a good way to involve a mother that might need to warm up to the idea of eloping.
Family: this one is tough. When I think of the father-daughter moments I could have had, or the elderly grandparents we could have involved I almost get a little choked up. However, it has given us a great excuse to travel all over the world celebrating with the friends and family that couldn’t be there. We have been really lucky to have family that was either extremely supportive or eventually warmed up to the idea (I’m looking at you mom). So I cannot say that I have any regrets, but it was a deeply thought out decision.
Reception: HELL NO. I did not want hours of speeches and slideshows. I do not need a DJ playing every effing 90s cliché tune. Crying bridesmaids and drunk groomsmen. No bouquet toss for me either, those flowers are mine, and I am keeping them! A little selfish sounding? Maybe. But we saved, A LOT of money by not having this part. If you’re in to the big party have a reception or bbq when you get back. It’s a good way to get some of those presents you might miss out on!