Time Together and Time Alone: Finding Balance


So for the next week I am alone as my co-eloper is visiting friends and family in a different province, and I couldn’t get the time off work. And guess what? I am totally going to survive. This is not the first or the last time we will spend extended or short periods of time alone from each other. It is normal, healthy, and GOOD for the relationship. Nurturing your individual identities will make you better partners.

As newlyweds it is tempting to find yourself doing absolutely everything together, and even feeling guilty when you are not. Keep these points in mind when thinking about or discussing alone time with your partner.
Time alone is to re-charge your batteries, not escape your spouse. Occasional drinks with the buddies is totally fine, but if you are regularly avoiding your partner then you need to evaluate some things.
Alone time while travelling is completely acceptable too! Can you just not bare to go to the 27th museum? Need a nap? Go to the gym? If you are both safe it is okay to do a few separate activities while travelling. You have different travelling and tourist styles, sometimes splitting up is the only way to compromise.
Talk about it honestly. No one should feel left out or smothered. You might have different expectations on what is a reasonable amount of time to spend alone. Avoid hurt feelings by making a plan and setting limits you are both comfortable with.
Respect each other’s privacy. This can be hard in the time of social media. I hate to say it out loud but there are tons of ways to cheat, lie, and keep secrets nowadays. If my partner is expressing the need for some alone time on the computer or is texting on his phone I cannot let my mind wander. You married this person! You trust them and there is no need to get excited. Plus, he is probably just looking up my next birthday present!
You have to be comfortable in your own skin before, in order to be the best partner to someone else. You should be best friends and enjoy doing most things together but don’t forget to nurture yourself too. You’ll be a happier healthier partner in the long run!

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