Spring is in the air and birds are chirping and all this loveliness has got me thinking about cute romantic crap like getting engaged! I sometimes wonder about the role that getting engaged has in the whole intimate wedding/elopement process. To be a true elopement, does the WHOLE thing have to be a surprise? Does the decision of getting married come together in a more logical and thought out manner? I think nowadays there are not a lot of complete surprise proposals. We discuss in length out wants and needs with each other. The decision to stay with this person for the long haul is usually decided at some point in the relationship long before you go shopping at Tiffany’s. As I think about most things, its completely up to you. There are no rules here. You are deciding with your partner how this whole things goes so let’s look at the two options:
To knee: Well it’s pretty darn romantic. I admit it, I loved my proposal. It was quiet and intimate and perfect. I knew we would get married but I was still pleasantly surprised with the thought and planning of this little ritual. It is a memory I would never give up. For some people the initial promise of the nuptials is important, and you can always decide later that you are going to run off to get hitched. The engagement can give your family a chance to be excited with you so when the surprise of the elopement bomb is dropped it is a little less to take in. And, sorry guys, if your girl really wants that big engagement ring (and you like her enough to give it to her) you have to go this route.
Not to knee: We are a pretty open and liberal society, right? You do not need to get engaged to get married. Even when family or friends pressure you, you can say “yes” we are going to get married some day, without needing a piece of jewelry to define it. Sometimes I think we can get caught up in the dream of a proposal and a ring and lose focus of the meaning. Then you get caught up in a fantasy wedding and could end up broke with a partner that was better in theory than reality. You may just decide one day that you must marry each other and the whole engagement time becomes a mute point. I know a lot of couple who have been together for a lot of years who just decided on a trip that this was the time they were going to get married, no muss no fuss. It’s not a terrible idea to warn your family at some point that this is probably what may happen in the future so your mom has several years to mentally prepare.
Regardless of what you do, the outcome is the same. So I wouldn’t stress too much over this. Think about priorities, economics (engagement photos, announcements, party etc.). But if you do have a great engagement (or non-engament) story or photos send them our way so we can feature them on our social media sites! We love to hear from you!