Weather the Storm of Your First Newlywed Fight

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Nothing bursts the bubble of newly-wedded bliss like your first epic fight. It’s normal, you did it before you got married, but somehow that first fight can feel like you’ve failed as a married person and that your life together is doomed. Weddings are great, our elopement was the single greatest day of my life, but there was no magic threshold we crossed that meant from this point on everything is going to be rosy and we won’t ever argue again! And trust me, it won’t seem like something important in the beginning. It will be something super trivial that will set in motion a flood of feelings that you have probably been saving up and stuffing down with wedding cake because you didn’t want to bring it up during your honeymoon. So in fact, the fight won’t actually be about the umpteenth time you have forgotten to put the Tupperware away properly despite the fact you know very well where it goes and that it drives him crazy when you leave it on the counter for days.

You argued before you got married, this is no different. You can, however, use the marriage as milestone to promise to fight better, more productively, and more honestly. This is a list of some of the common things that may trigger a newlywed fight, I’m sure you can relate.

Post-wedding blues. That feeling that all your planning and dreams are over. The end of the wedding is the beginning of the fun part. Don’t get wrapped up in the fantasy part. Enjoy all your first as a new couple and find joy in everyday life together.

Family. You may have upset family members from the start about the fact that you eloped. You now have two sets of people vying for your attention and free time. You cannot make everyone happy all the time. Be honest, don’t make promises you can’t keepĀ  and split up your time as you see fair.

Money. You can’t escape money problems. Maybe you spent a good deal of savings on travel or the wedding itself. Finances have a great deal of emotions attached to them and money pressures can easily make you turn on your spouse. Don’t avoid money talks, make plans you both can be on board for and set set realistic goals.

Expectations. This is made worse by social media these days too. All your friends own a house and you are renting, they are traveling to Cannes while you are hoping to find a cheap cabin on AirBnB. Who cares? Don’t let that girl you went to college with photos of #newlywed #soinlove #firstthaifoodasamarriedcouple distract you from the successes in your own marriage.

Be nice to each other and to yourself. Don’t let old points of contention creep back into your mind and don’t go for the triggers. It is easy to fight fair when you make a point to do so. And remember, arguing is a normal healthy part of any relationship!

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